Divorce Moving Checklist
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By Nancy Fagan, Relationship Resolution Center
By nature, women are nesters and work hard to make their house a home. When divorce happens, the process of dismantling personal effects, carefully gathered and arranged through the years can be heart-wrenching.
Packing stirs up feelings of loss surrounding the dreams of a life together that have ended. This can be a traumatic experience not only for you but also for everyone in the family. Not only is the home being lost, but all the items of familiar comfort are also being divided. In its place, shattered dreams and the lack of emotional safety and security fill the space. Packing under these conditions requires careful and deliberate steps. Following the tips below will make the process a little easier.
Inventory Agreement
Before packing, generate a list of household items that you plan to take. Have your husband review the list and sign the bottom of the page to show that he agrees. If there is anything under question, now is the time to discuss it. When the time comes to make the physical move, emotions will run high enough, so having this laid out in advance will make it easier to get through this delicate step.
A Life in Pictures
Pictures have a way of flooding women with emotion. To minimize the impact they bring, you will want to do a clean sweep of your house and organize them systematically to create a moving checklist. To start, gather the framed photos, collect the albums and grab two boxes (one for you and one for the kids). This is the time to let your pictures tell a new family story. For each child’s room, replace frames with photos of the kids and their father. This will communicate that, although the marital relationship ended, the one with their father continues.
Children usually have a secret hope that you and your husband will reconcile. To avoid giving them false hope, replace the remaining frames with photos that do not include your husband. This will let the kids know the family still exits; it’s just different now.
Marital Momentums
Just because the marriage is over does not mean you should throw out keepsakes from that phase of your life. Remember, your momentums are shared tokens from your days as a couple; they represent your life experiences as an individual. For now, while you heal, box your things up and put them away. There will come a day when you will want to look back and appreciate that part of your life.
With moving day upon you, the message is simple—be prepared with a moving checklist. Boxing up your married life will be an emotional experience. However, if you follow these tips, the overall experience will be more manageable and help you avoid and emotional meltdown.
Related:
Nancy Fagan, Founder of Relationship Resolution Center
Nancy Fagan is the founder of the Relationship Resolution Center, an online counseling, mediation, and coaching business. She holds a Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology and is the former owner of the largest divorce mediation firm in San Diego. She is a 3-time published author and has appeared on countless television, radio shows, and quoted in national magazines since 1997.