by Nancy Fagan, Relationship Resolution Center
If you feel bored in your marriage, chances are you have been lax about doing the necessary things to keep it healthy. What a dull marriage lacks is fondness and appreciation. When couples get comfortable, they forget the relationship needs to be maintained.
According to John Gottman, Ph.D. who’s life work is studying relationships. His research shows that two of the most crucial elements that make a satisfying and long-lasting romance are fondness and admiration. He writes, “Getting through stressful times and managing conflict is much easier if you and your partner regularly show how highly you value each other!”
Being bored in your marriage does not mean you are unhappy with your spouse. It just means that you are bored. Take Dr. Gottman’s advice and actively show your partner how much you appreciate him as well as how fond you are of him. Try using one of the 8 phrases below to get started. You’ll be surprised by the energy it infuses into your relationship.
1. When he gets home, tell him you’re happy to see him;
2. Send him a text to tell him you miss him;
3. Make sure to say to him “I love you” three times a day;
4. Touch your partner affectionately when he is talking;
5. Say to him, “You make me feel so loved.”;
6. Tell your partner you think he is handsome, or sexy;
7. Tell your partner you are proud of him;
8. When your partner does something for you, tell him you appreciate him.
Which of the above will you try with your partner later today? Share it in the comments below. If you’re not comfortable trying one from the list, share your reason below.
Nancy Fagan, Founder of Relationship Resolution Center
Nancy Fagan is the founder of the Relationship Resolution Center, an online counseling, mediation, and coaching business. She holds a Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology and is the former owner of the largest divorce mediation firm in San Diego. She is a 3-time published author and has appeared on countless television, radio shows, and quoted in national magazines since 1997.